Recently a friend of mine went to an all-day meeting, a panel discussion. We met after, and as we sat at a charming bistro -one needs to balance a heavy discussion with surroundings that please – she began talking about her very. very busy day. It’s easy to sense when a person has had a day that’s draining. Their entire self is different. Those kind of days are somewhat like batting your head against a brick wall, you contribute to the discussion, around and around the talk goes, and nothing too significant gets done because there are so many rules and regulations. I think many people have those days.
The atmosphere of a good bistro lends itself to seeing life differently, and words began flowing easily. She’d been taking part in a panel discussion about young children and health. However, talk about young children was short-lived as we began thinking about adult children. This is not so cut and dry a subject – everyone thinks differently about it, and surely that’s everyone’s right.
We went back and forth with this conversation. Adding that in many cultures, families tend to stay together. This is what I’ve heard and read. Our American culture is very different, as is the way we have of bringing up our children. There’s no right or wrong here, but it’s been written that our culture is too materialistic, that we’re always in a hurry, stressed out, don’t even bring up our children as we leave that for other people to do, and we’re selfish with our time. So when our children return to us, perhaps after a divorce, or when s/he hasn’t found a way in the world yet, or simply is not ready to leave family, we become anxious and struggle with this instead of accepting it.
In some other countries, one sees large families living together, supporting the family in different ways, and enjoying each other’s company. It looks like an authentic togetherness. Sometimes that’s how it is in the States, though the norm tends toward big wonderful family meals savoured mostly during holidays. And according to the hilarious movies we see during the November/December months, family holiday dinners in the US don’t turn out quite the same as, let’s say, those in Europe.
The other side of the coin is when a parent or guardian is not ready for their child to leave. They keep a tight hold, and when thoughts of leaving the family are brought up, an adult child is made to feel guilty. So, the other side of the coin has to factor in allowing a child to freely leave when the time is right for them. Readiness is individual, some can’t wait to “conquer the world.” They leave with or without consent. Some can do this without guilt, others can’t. They stay, and live their life on someone else’s terms.
Yes, this was an interesting conversation. There’s no right or wrong – only opinions – therefore. we resolved nothing. Let’s say that the best case scenario is when joy, peace, love and laughter reign supreme whatever the circumstances.
Yes, we’re ready for the check. Thank you.